Shizu.Yue

Gamer . Bookworm . Otaku

Tag: jokes & laughter

Excerpts from a book called Disorder in the American Courts

Seluna says: I saw this on Facebook and had a hard time trying to not laugh out loudly in office. Posting this to share to anyone who visits, and most importantly for boyfriend whose business trip brought him into the range of the Great Firewall of China.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

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True Stories, told in one sentence

Is a real website.

Found it from Playpark.net, and it’s got quite a few funny one-liners, such as this:

‘My 8-year-old sister proudly declared that she knows that “WTF” means “Wow, That’s Funny” and has been using it all over the internet.”

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Engrish in Singapore

For the people who don’t know, Engrish simply means butchering of the English language, usually caused by bad translation. There’s a website dedicated to showcasing many examples of that, and I often laugh myself silly when I visit that site.

Today however, I was just checking out some of the interesting, whacky articles in the Playpark website when I spotted this. And it’s way too funny for me to just leave alone.

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A $233.95 drawing for a spider

Source : I Do Not Have Any Money So I’m Sending You This Drawing

If this is true, the this guy’s idea of paying / delaying payment for his overdue water bill makes people want to facepalm or strangle him. But it is funny, rofl. Maybe I’ll bookmark that site and browse it when I’m feeling particularly bored or emo.

Latest cool definitions

Found this in a post from http://www.onrpg.com/boards/54343-5/.

Divorce
Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

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Who am I thinking?

http://en.akinator.com/#

He guesses who you are thinking in twenty questions! ^^ He got quite a few correct guesses, and a few near ones. Some brilliant computing is working behind this, but I think the best part is it has the people playing adding to the database. That’s pretty ingenious.

60 signs you’ve been in Singapore too long

Credits to whoever came up this (definitely not me), I found it in the old Backyard of the Playpark forums v.1 which is now known as Asiasoft Forums.

60 signs you’ve been in Singapore too long, especially if you come from a
Western country :

1. You know that “cXX” means something completely different from what you originally thought.

2. You’ve lost your sense of irony, sarcasm, and cynicism.

3. You don’t know what’s lame and what isn’t anymore.

4. You think there’s nothing wrong with putting chili sauce on everything you eat.

5. You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing anything. Always.

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Tendjewberrymud

Credits to whoever came up this (definitely not me), I found it in the old Backyard of the Playpark forums v.1 which is now known as Asiasoft Forums.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in S.E Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review…

Room Service (RS): “Morny. Ruin sorbees”

Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service”

RS: “Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny!

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